If you have ever had a child going through the exam, you'll probably recognise plenty of these. (Belfastlive - 15 Nov 2016)
1, Your child starts P6 and you promise yourself the transfer test won’t bring out the tiger (parent) in you. No matter what happens you will be calm and never let them see that this is scaring the absolute bejaysus out of you.
2, By Halloween the din of the other mums starts to infiltrate your calm exterior, “OMG only 12 months to go!!” Wise up! As if you ever started revising for an exam a year in advance in your puff. If you value your sanity you MUST avoid the desperate mummies of Hysteria Lane.
3, The pressure builds as the year goes on. You try to act normally when you pick your child up from school, but when you say, ”How was your day pet?” in your best faux-casual voice, what you actually mean was; “how did you get on in the test today?” “Tell me now, so I can plot it on my secret spreadsheet and cross reference it with your last 3 averages!” Normal behaviour, no?
4, You will no longer converse with your child in a normal manner. You get a bit shrill sergeant major-esque and say things like; “you do know this” and “I told you that this morning”. Give me 20 push ups, 10 square numbers and 4 conjunctions now!
5, You learn stuff though. Who knew that a triangular prism had so many edges? But, you’re still not going to change how you do subtraction sums anytime soon; erm, no thanks; those fancy deconstructing methods and adding-time hacks won’t wash with me love. #oldschool
6, You get a bit irrationally jealous of the parents of the really smart kids. Swotty show offs! Bet they don’t need 5 litres (5,000ml in case you’re wondering) of wine to get through the weekend.
7, Sunday night dread is now replaced with Sunday morning dread, as you have to beg, bargain and plead with your child to do a practice test and then “calmly” run through the 578 corrections afterwards. Thank God you have the answer booklet though.
8, You have to remind yourself that the child is only 10 years old and they will forget what a proper noun is EVERY SINGLE TIME it comes up. They can tell you what Zoella bought from Topshop last Wednesday but proper nouns, interior angles, grams in a kilogram, nah! NAC.
9, It’s like childbirth. Everyone who has been through it wants to share their story/drama/misery/unwanted advice. “You should do this, you shouldn’t do that. I can’t believe you’ve started/not started the tests, applied for/not applied for the GL and AQE.” #GiveMeStrength
10, You can’t decide who you hate most; the people who have tutors but say they don’t or the laissez-faire people who say “if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be!”
View Article - Belfast Live